Truth, Lies and the Grey Space In Between.

 

 

 

What is truth and what is a lie? It’s been on my mind lately. Yes there is an absolute truth in any given situation and there is a lie or the opposite of truth. But the space between the two has so many shades and perspectives and that is where it gets tricky. Let me give you some examples.

When I was thirteen I acquired a step-mom. Her best friend was familiar with my siblings and filled her in with anecdotal stories. My step mom made it clear from the start that she “Never lied!”, yet some of the things she said we did… we hadn’t and there was no convincing her from her perspective of truth. 

This was an example of Shade of Grey #1: You believe in your source of information so you believe it to be true. You aren’t “lying” but you are unknowingly passing on an untruth as if it was real.

I see #1 in the political conversation today. A listener will be told a spin story that is inaccurate and, believing their source to be reliable, will react and repeat the false statement as truth. They get emotionally invested in this story and it sets like concrete in their brain. To them it is fact.

Shade of Grey #2: If you mis-hear information but never question the accuracy of your perception, it becomes truth in your mind, also came from my step mom. I had a friend over and was showing her my bedroom. My step mom walked by and overheard our casual conversation. After my friend left she confronted me, saying I had lied to make my girl friend feel sorry for me. She said that I’d talked of my hand-me-down box of clothes.

I was dumbfounded. I hadn’t said that. I didn’t have such a box. But my step mom always told the truth so that meant my protestations of innocence was a lie. It took me over a week to figure out what the woman was talking about. I did have a box of clothes in my room. A “hem-down” box. I wore my skirts too short, in my folks view of decorum,  so I needed to hem some down before I was permitted to wear them. It was an inconsequential item in my room and beneath my radar. By the time I discovered the source of her mis-hearing it was too late to set it straight.

The third piece is just the way some people are wired. Shade of Grey (#3) : Truth is what is convenient or expedient to the situation. There are some people that truth is malleable. Their reasoning of how a situation happened runs through a filter of what works for them… then magically (perhaps chemically in the brain) their version of the truth becomes the truth in their minds. These people will always see the world through these strong filters. As a rule the #3’s are frequently out of step and their relationships can be abrasive as opposing realities rub up against each other.

Now don’t get me wrong. We all have our perspectives based on past experiences etc. If a cop, or a teacher, asks five eye witnesses what they saw, there is bound to be differences in their stories but the #3 people take it a step further. In their minds the altered reality IS the truth and they will never be willing to see differently.

Where #3 people convince themselves of their version is the truth and it is real to them the next group knows what the truth is but will never admit it. This is where we get the deliberate: “Alternative facts”.

Shade of Grey #4 is the Vladimir Lenin Rule:A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” These individuals frequently are in positions to influence and it works for their agenda, to convince their band, committee or audience of a falsehood. They state their lie often and with complete confidence. As they do it becomes wired into their listeners minds as truth. 

I live in the U.S. and have been watching these four points repeated so many times. The chaos is painful. Oh it didn’t start a couple of years ago. This tug of war with truth and lies has been with us and always will be. But it has increased in frequency and volume to the point that it is a steady confusing barrage. The agony of today is caused by the daily onslaught of purposeful manipulation. SPIN = lies.

We live in the age of speed with so much to do and information flying at us from all sorts of directions. Who has time to think, let alone question and research. Instead of people double checking the accuracy, they choose instead to accept things at face value. Point #1, they trust their source because it aligns with what they’ve heard before and are comfortable with it. 

I understand to some extent. Separating fact from fiction when it’s flying at you is exhausting and it takes time. But by not checking, by not being informed we are are susceptible of being duped and becoming kool-aid drinking ‘sheeple’. History is full of tragic examples across the centuries and around the world. By not staying accurately informed we give away freedoms to those who are manipulating us. This is very disturbing. I, for one, prefer to try to sort things out and use the brain I was born with. I urge you to do so too.

So here is my challenge. Check out the graphic. Where are you getting your news? If it isn’t in the upper center of the range, move outside of your comfort zone and toward the fact checked sources. Be an informed person. Do it for your children.

 

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