I’ve recently lost the love of my life. I want to share with you what that love looked like. It was warm and supportive and fulfilling.
I met this man in college. We were drawn to each other in fundamental ways. I enjoyed his humor, his gentle kindness and incisive intelligence. But we needed to establish, to weave, the communication of the growing relationship.
At first it wasn’t always easy but as we began to hear and sense the unheard music each of us resonated, the harmony began to build. Occasionally small discordant notes arose in those early months but the complexity of the silent symphony became stronger and sweeter.
We waited to marry until our education was finished and Chris had a job. Every external stress made us stronger. The laughter and conversations were our life-blood. The man was a joy: dependable, funny, friendly and so smart. And he loved me.
So in tune with each other, we finished each other’s sentences. Working together daily in our business was special. He would come into the room while I was focused on a job and would say something unexpected. Perhaps he wanted to share a hawk flying by, the call of an owl, a sunset or to ask what the song was running through my head. (How did he know?) And always hugging me… heart to heart.
Each moment was a little piece of that special communication and love. We had dynamic dreams and projects we were working on as life flowed through us in that silent music.
Our personalities meshed well and we fought life’s trials either side by side or back to back. We were a force, a unit. The son we made together is a joy and a remarkable man, shaped by a lifetime of being in the aura and love of the life we created. We were happy. Eventually we brought a shelter kitty into our circle. She completed our cherished family.
This was my love. Physically he is now gone and I struggle to function with half of the harmony so very muted as to be almost silent.
The love is still there. I believe that. It’s just out of reach. At this moment our son and I are supporting each other and giving our kitty love as she watches for my hubby to come through the door.
Life goes on. People all over the world grieve. Mine is no different yet I am so very lucky to have known this love. This is what I wanted to share.
Hug each other… heart to heart.
2 Comments
Holly, your’s and Chris’ love has long been a tribute to all who knew you.
In harmony you achieved more together than singular.
This is raw, well written, and I applaud your grasp that although you are apart, your love does not change.
You were blessed beyond measure, we all were for knowing Chris.
Holly(Spoof), I just was told of your loss and I am so terribly sorry. Having lived through the same thing I know where you are, even this belatedly. The first time I saw you together I knew it was permanent. You were so incredibly lucky to have what you had; not an easy thing in our world. Please know that all the people whose lives you enrichened grieve with you. Peter